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December 17, 2011 / 74

Temper Temper

“Honey? Is something wrong? Honey?”

Deena gave him a withering look, flounced off to the bathroom and slammed and locked the door.

Mike looked at the closed door and thought to himself, “So. It’s the old silent treatment again, eh?” He silently whistled no tune as he waltzed an imaginary partner out through the kitchen into the garage. He stood eyeballing the corner for a few seconds considering, then selected the medium light graphite rod with the Mitchell 300X 5-bearing open-faced reel on it, snagged his tackle box and quickly and quietly put them in the back of the Jeep. He returned to the house and scouted her position. Yep. She was still in the bathroom.

He leaned on the wall by the bathroom door. “Honey? Honey? Come on! What’s bothering you? I can tell it’s something.” Silence met his entreaty, as he knew it would. “Listen, I’m going to go to the store. Is there anything you need? The silence continued.

“Well… ok then. I’ll see you later and maybe we can talk about it. Okay? Honey? Bye… Love ya.” He grinned and forced himself to take measured steps, slow, sad steps toward the garage. He quietly got in the Jeep, started it and backed through the open garage door. He controlled himself until after he turned the corner and was completely out of sight of the house, when he relaxed and smiled.

True to his word, he stopped at the store, the bait store, to pick up some worms and a new Rocket Shad lure. He broke his best one the last time she got mad at him and hadn’t had time to replace it. He set a six-pack of beer on the counter and dialed his cell phone while the clerk rang up the purchase. “Hey, guy! I got the beer and worms. You got the boat in the water yet? – Yep. Be there in ten.” He carried his stuff to the Jeep and hopped in. The price would be high later, but not as high as the pleasure he got from going fishing. She kept him so busy with her Honey-Do lists, the only chance he got to go anymore was when she was angry at him, so he’d figured out how to get her that way. Fishing on a beautiful afternoon! The fact that she was so predictable and knew nothing about men was what made it possible. Ahhh… life was good.

* * *

Back home in the bathroom, Deena cracked the door open and peered out into the silent house. Yep. He was really gone. He’d be off sulking for the rest of the afternoon, and that would be long enough for her to pick out the new drapes. Being “angry” would be justification enough that he wouldn’t give her a lecture about spending too much. She’d been looking for an excuse to get mad for two weeks now, and he finally gave it to her. That men were so clueless about women was what made it all worthwhile. Ahhh… Life was good.

(c) Michael E Picray 2004)



Leave a Comment
  1. Cyndi Wiley / Dec 17 2011 17:01

    Thanks for the chuckle! 🙂

  2. Steve Picray / Dec 17 2011 09:04

    It’s like the Gift of the Magi in reverse.

    It also reminds me of the Brad Paisley song, “I’m Gonna Miss Her.”:

    It’s pretty funny.

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