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June 13, 2012 / 74

Snakey Earns A Sore Tail

In the Social News – Missus Snaky came a’ calling on Miz Hen today. They cozied up in Miz Hen’s nest and no doubt shared a bit of admiration over Miz Hen’s fine, FINE nest full of eggs.

Missus Snakey, I’m sure after hinting BROADLY about perhaps having a bit of a snack, forgot her manners and helped herself to a late lunch, snarfing one of Miz Hen’s intended progeny.

Well! I have no idea what Miz Hen thought about that, but when Mr Farmer arrived on the scene, it was obvious that Missus Snakey thought it was just FINE, thank you!

But Mr Farmer wasn’t overly pleased.

Now, snakes are a necessary part of a farm – especially an organic farm – even a very SMALL organic farm. Like everyone else, they have their chores to do, and if they don’t do them, the farm doesn’t do as well as it could.

Miz Hen, for example, is to lay and hatch eggs, train up the little ones in their jobs, and all of them are to eat those pesky little bugs that eat the veggies and such. The Hens also are assigned to go under the fruit trees and scratch up the bugs that want to eat the fruit and the fruit trees, and eat them too.

Mr Farmer must plant and weed and hoe, and harvest and preserve so that everyone eats in the winter. And Mr Farmer is also responsible for protecting the more gullible members of the team… like Miz Hen… who sat there on the front edge of her nest box and watched while Missus Snakey ate one of her eggs.

As Mr Farmer watched, it looked like only he was at all disturbed by the events. Missus Snakey was all curled up in the warm nest, egg bulging and pleading guilty to theft.  Miz Hen was quietly watching Missus Snakey… sleeping? So Mr farmer got a crowbar and HOOKED Miz Hen OUT of the nest. This seemed to upset Missus Snakey somewhat, and perhaps even offended her as she started to bustle about looking for the door. Mr Farmer OBVIOUSLY had NO manners at ALL! I mean REALLY! Hooking a lady right out of her own nest!? REALLY!

So Missus Snakey tried to be circumspect and leave via the back door, a hole in the back of the box. But although she probably came IN that way, she wasn’t wearing an egg-sized bulge on the way in. That darned egg was just too BIG and she wouldn’t fit through the back hole in the nest box.

Meanwhile Mr Farmer was banging on the wooden side of the nest boxes, agitating Missus Snakey even more, until she saw she had NO choice and slithered, egg bulge and all, right toward Mr Farmer and out of the nest box.

Mr Farmer, knowing how useful snakes are on a farm (when they do their PROPER job), didn’t want to injure or kill the egg thief (from his perspective). So he was banging the crowbar on the ground, urging Missus Snakey onward to greater efforts of LEAVING!

So Missus Snakey dragged her bulging body behind the grain cans, and was disappearing along the barn wall, when Mr Farmer decided that she needed a little lesson in the cost of getting caught out in the open, and especially getting caught in a nest box with an egg bulge. So when all but about a foot and a half of tail was gone, he DROPPED the crowbar (sideways) on Missus Snakey’s tail. Hopefully painful, but not really damaging.

Missus Snakey didn’t even look back, like she did the last time she had an encounter with Mr Farmer, but slithered as quickly as she could through a hole in the barn wall and into the barn – where it’s all warm and dark, with old hay and mice.

So now we wait to see if the eggs stop disappearing… for a while, anyway.

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